What If

Outside The Ritz hotel a group off screaming fans were waiting for their Idol to show up.

Inside 506 a group of lads were also waiting to see who the hot celeb was. They themselves were famous. In fact one of the biggest boy bands in the world. Westlife.
“Who do you think it is? Maybe its Julia Roberts” asked sounding like a little boy of 6.
“ As if and like she’d go for you anyway.” joked. “ Shut up the car is here,” screamed at the lads.

They ran to the window and watched one leg come out then the other followed by the rest of her. “ ” a guy in the crowd called. turned in the direction off the call and smiled. She walked over she hugged some off her fans and signed autographs for them. This was the best bit in ’s eyes the fans. They were always there for her.

was the newest pop star on the block. She was surprised how popular she had become she never thought it would be like that for a second, Simon her Manager said it was because she was being herself and wasn’t stuck up like so many pop stars are.
She was back in her hometown London. She would be doing promotion for the next two months and finishing off her first album. was looking forward to meeting and greeting fans; as well as seeing her family and friends.

said goodbye to her fans and entered the hotel.

?” said a bit confused. “ You haven’t heard off ?” asked back a bit shocked. “ You must have heard off her she’s the new cutie on the block” continued before interrupted. “ She’s signed to our label Simon asked us to listen to her music as he was thinking off us doing something together.”
“ What does she look like” asked he kind of remembered something about her but he was too busy sorting out his relationship with to pay to much attention. “ Don’t know not seen her picture. I think were meeting her soon though,” said “ Well yes since she is staying in the same hotel. So yes that is kind of going to happen.” said, coming out the bathroom.

“ Room 504 Miss I hope you enjoys your stay here.”
“ Thank you.” looked at the mans badge “ James”.
walked to the lift with her bodyguards at the side off her. She hated lifts so when the doors opened up on her floor she was over the moon. She stepped out the lift to come face to face with 5 guys. She knew who they were right away. They were the lads from Westlife.

“ Hi. right?” asked. “ Can you please step away. does not have time for autographs at this moment maybe later. Now please step aside.” Gary ’s bodyguard said. While Chris her other guard led along to her room.
“ Ok Diva much.” said looking at the other guys to see they thought the same.

felt like dying her bodyguards just told Westlife to leave her alone thank god they wasn’t fans but still. wasn’t impressed at having them with her 24-7 she felt that she could look after herself. Simon wouldn’t have any of it though.

opened her room 504 it was lovely really big. “ Thanks. Chris, Gary you can go home now I won’t be going out tonight.” lied she was planning to see her best friend . “ You sure that would be great.” Gary said, “ You’re a real star,” Chris continued. watched them leave.
She looked round the room.

It had a double bed, TV, video stereo a bath and shower a view to die for she knew she would spend ages out there looking at the night sky.

“Better get ready” She thought. had a nice long hot bath then got changed into her new off black jeans with turn up at the bottom, trainers and a top to match her jeans with a jacket She had just brought the outfit from river island she loved it as soon as she saw it.
She was just about to leave when she got a text from saying she had to work late at the airport and she’d call later. decided to go out anyway.

She opened the door and heard the lads taking the piss out off her in the corridor. There were only two rooms on this floor, which were for VIP only. “We must be the only VIPs here,” thought

“ Look at me I’m so great. I don’t sign autographs or speak to anyone below me and especially on my time. I’m a diva step aside.” said walking up and down portending to be .
“ Do it again asked, “ Yes please do” said. She saw the lad’s faces and tried not to laugh. She was leaning against her door arms and legs crossed with a look on her face that said I’m pissed.
“ Don’t be shy. Ok then. Well I’m a diva remember and I demand it.” said putting her hand on her hips.
“ Its not funny anymore” said taking off the clothes he had put on over his own.
“ Ok I’ll do it for you.” walked up the hall walking and talking like a diva.” Get out my way you are beneath me. I have no time for people like you. I’m great and everybody wants to be me.” When she finished she turned round and curtsied.
The guys all cracked up laughing. did too. “Sorry about that.” said walking up to her and shacking her hand. When she took it he gave her an electric shock. “ Its ok, I would have thought the same if that was me. Chris and Gary get a little over protective. I mean they are huge I’m only 5.3 well that’s what they say so I guess I’m sticking to that. I’m not a diva at all. I swear” smiled. looked at and gave a half smile she was really nervous for some reason.
“ Well maybe we can start a fresh. I’m , this is , , and .” said cutting of he pointed at each of them “Hi all, I’m “ but everyone calls me or Buffy.”
“ Buffy?” asked raising his eyebrow “Yes I’m obsessed with Buffy ok and I can kick butt like she can if not better cause I don’t have a stunt double and I’m shutting up now.” said feeling her face go red.

How she wished her mate was here to give a help in hand. She would have to kill her later. “ You should talk to our he loves Buffy.” said opening the door and gesturing for her to enter.
“ Where are your boys gone?” asked following in the room. “ I sent them home. I said I wasn’t going out, which I was until about 30 minutes ago when my mate cancelled cause she had to work.” “ You bad girl. Do you want to hang here with us? Were just going to get in pizza and a movie.”
asked he was looking at the way kept looking at and the fact that was trying not to look at .
“ Yeah sure.” “ You have to promise us one thing. No chick flicks” said sitting down on the couch.
“ Would I do something like that? Ok maybe to bug you, yes. I’m fine I’ll watch anything.”
“ What about a horror film?” asked “ Hell yes I love horror” “ You do?” asked shocked “Yes but all my mates hate it. But you should see my DVD collection.”
“ Maybe I will.” said with a cheeky boy smile. Then realising what he said and changed his mind. “I mean we will take that up with you.” his face getting redder.

didn’t leave to 5 am she was still fully awake. She loved the fact that the guys all walked to her room even if it was next door.

“ She’s really nice isn’t she? A right laugh. And way cute. With a wild streak in her. And funny I like her.” said getting a coffee. “Yeah and she likes Buffy, maybe has someone to bore about the whole thing.” said waiting for a reaction from to see he was still standing outside the door. rolled his eyes and tooted to the other lads who laughed.

jumped 10 feet in the air at the sound of someone knocking on her door. “Who ever you are you better bloody be Robbie Williams as I’m going to kill you.” She opened the door to find 5 sheepest looking guys standing there.“Sorry” said not sure what to do. “ Its ok I’ll let you off but only because there are five of you and one of me.What can I do for you lot?” stepped aside letting the lads in.

“We we wondering if you wanted to join us for breakfast?” said after he saw none of the others were going to get the guts to.
“Hum food, yeah sure give me 5.” ran into the bathroom.

didn’t what to say or do. Once went into the bathroom the others winked and ran out leaving him to take to breakfast.
wasn’t that shy but as soon as he had met yesterday and the electric shock that he got he had been in lush with her from start.

As opened the bathroom door caught his breath. She looked amazing, so natural. In black combat trousers, cat boots and a t-shirt that said. “Little Miss naughty” He had to smile she looked cute.

“Ok what did I scare the guy off or something?” “No they thought you would be more than five minutes so they left me to wait for you.” “Oh well you could have gone with them. You didn’t have to wait.” said looking down to the floor maybe what she thought she felt with yesterday was her wishful thinking.

“You must be joking. It’s their lost, as I’m going to be walking in with the most beautiful girl in this world. Well after Sarah of course.” smiled his smile he was calming down now. “After Sarah of course.” laughed.

“Yes please ?” said to the lady sitting at the desk at reception. “I’m sorry but your name is not on the list to speak to her. I’m sorry.” “Your sorry hello I’m her best friend. Just call her and” “ It’s ok she with you and me can put her name down on my list” turned around at the sound of an Irish voice behind her.
She came face to face with .

“Umm ok thanks.” took ’s arm and led her over to the table where the lads were waiting for and .

“So you’re nice to meet you.” started to say. “How do you know me?” “ ” “Oh ok.” didn’t need to ask or know anymore frankly she didn’t’ much care well not until she was able to speak to alone.

”Finally you’re here,” said jumping out her seat to run up to .“Um yeah. I’ve seen you been picked up by the lads. Nice to know they didn’t just dumb on me for a bowl of cornflakes”

That was the start of the friendship. Everyday they all got together also with the other lads wives. They would hang play snooker etc if and were around.

So when had said she wouldn’t be able to meet up in the bar they were disappointed especially who didn’t let on.
and the lads had been tormenting him for the past 3 weeks over and their ever-strong friendship. He had denied everything, Even using if you were single you’d fancy her as well line that always seemed to work.

The guys were all sitting down stairs in the bar with their girls. Well apart from and . They were feeling a bit left out being the only single lads at the mo. liked ’s mate and they were going on their first date at the weekend. So he had high hopes
“ Maybe you can date ?” said out the blue. She was trying to cheer Kian up. “ As if. she properly has a boyfriend.” “ says she doesn’t and you never know what will happen.” added helpfully

woke up to a knock at her door; she had just got back from the studio recording a new track and was looking forward to a rest. It was midnight. She thought it was one of the lads who saw her sneak in. When she opened the door she wasn’t expecting to see her ex boyfriend there.

“Josh What are you doing here? “ asked shocked “ I’ve come on business. I’m your new boyfriend. Come for a drink?” thought about saying no but with the others down stairs she would be safe. Simon had said something about her having a boyfriend. wasn’t happy but if she was truthful she didn’t care one way or another she would get out of it so for now she was going to play along.

“ Hi yeah girlie” called over when she saw walk in “ Who’s the guy?” whispered “ Isn’t he in Dawson’s creek. Pacey?” added looking to and then back to . “ Hi guys, this is Josh, Josh this is everybody.” said pointing to the gang sitting down.
come with me.” said followed with and in tow.

“So who’s that?” asked once they were in the ladies.
rolled her eyes“ Joshua, his my boyfriend” “ You have a boyfriend?” “ Yes, no. I used to date Josh for about 3 years but he wanted to get married, I didn’t his not the one for me. We kind of stayed friends and now we got back together. Its confusing.” lent against the sink. She wasn’t impressed at all. Right now all she wanted to do was make sure they new it was a PR thing but how could she. But this was and couldn’t keep her mouth shut on anything.

“Ok how come you’re not happy about it and didn’t tell us or the lads?” “ We only got together today. And Simon wanted me to have a boyfriend so his got my ex-back. I don’t even want to be with him.”
“Oh” Was all the girls could say. “Will help you sort it out.” said hugging .

“So how long have you and been together?” asked he was a bit confused he and were like best friends in the short time they had met and she hadn’t said anything about having a boyfriend.
“Well we used to date for about 3 years, but it didn’t work out as we wanted different things. Now we are both very much in love.” “ How come she didn’t say anything before, If your so in love?” asked trying his best to not freak out.
“ Simon wanted it on the low.” “ Oh” added.

The girls walked back over to the lads with some drinks tried to sit anywhere that wasn’t next to Josh but he grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap and kissed her.
“Hum I’ve missed that,” Josh said licking his lips.
looked to for help she shrugged.
“So you’re in the studios tomorrow right ?” said standing up and moving towards her.
nodded well I think that is very important don’t you? So you need to rest. Off you go.” grabbed her arms and pulled her up giving her a chance to escape.

As turned round she saw the puzzled look of as If to say. Why they hell you being like a mum. She just winked.
“Hey where you going. Were a couple now your not leaving me again?” Josh jumped up from his seat and running after .

wanted to jump out his and take in his arms and tell Josh to go to hell. He could have sworn wasn’t happy about Josh being there.

The two months were soon up. It had been in every paper about and Joshua. Every TV show she had been on had wanted to know everything. All wanted to do was Say it was a PR thing. It was too late for that now. They had told everyone they were in love and happy.

had in fact decided to peruse the relationship with Josh. Manly because wasn’t interested in her he had started seeing a girl from a new pop band.
always hoped it was a PR thing but when she had asked out right he had said no.
She had even said what would you say if my relationship was. didn’t seem to care he shrugged and said it’s your life. He didn’t even ask her if it was or not.
Since it was her last night in London before she had earned herself a two-week break. Everyone was getting together at Click.

“So how are you and ?” asked . “It’s the best I can’t say how words don’t even come close. his amazing to be with someone you love so much. You should know. Being with Josh.”

just smiled weakly. She had hoped that had noticed that was not in love with Josh at all.

There was a knock on the door was first at the door.
“Hey and ? What are you doing here?”
’s got no date. And Josh asked if he could take as his running late.”

turned around and looked at with a, I’m sorry look.
“So you’re my date then. Well that’s great” She picked up her bag and headed out the door. She tried to hide her smile.
At least she could portend they were together for a bit even if it was just in her mind and didn’t know.

“Are you alright?” asked he was standing over with a drink in his hand for her. She just smiled weakly and shrugged.

“I’m sure Josh will be here.” sat down opposite her. He counted 26 shot glasses. This wasn’t good how could anyone drink 26 shots.
“Are they all yours” “Yes and so what If they are. I have to do something to hide the fact that if one more person asks me about me and Josh being so in love and happy I will personally tell the whole world that I’m not.”
had to shake his head. was drunk but yet she seemed to mean every word she had just said.

“Excuse me. Your not in love with Josh?” “Hell no. I broke up with him for a reason. It was bloody Simon bloody Cowell making me get back with him. He didn’t even ask or even care when I said I was in love with someone else.”“Ok I’m kind of confused” tried to stand up to make her point get across but she felt too ill to even move.

“Josh loves me, I don’t love Josh. I love someone else. The someone else doesn’t love me. So I might as well stick with someone who does love me. I’ll be happy with him. So I won’t be with my soul mate, but hey he won’t be with me either, His just a stupid Irish male. So you can tell I’m over him now thank you.”
laid her head on the table and fell asleep.
was speechless his brain was working over time. He wasn’t sure if was really telling the truth or it was the drink getting her confused.

couldn’t sleep a wink ’s drunken confession had really been on his mind.
He knew that liked but even he didn’t know how deep his feelings went. He had to sort something out. He would talk to and get her to chat to or something.

“You must be bloody joking right ? Josh has asked me to marry him. I’m going to say yes.” said throwing her stuff in the suitcase and pulling it shut.
“ I know feels something for you. You can’t ruin your life it isn’t fair on anyone. At the end of the day everyone will get hurt”
“Not if I’m the only one who knows” “I know and it hurts me to know that you would sooner stick with Josh who you don’t love than ask how he feels.”“Well so what. doesn’t feel the same there’s no point in talking about this any longer. I have to leave.”
“Fine go but can you put your hand over your heart and say you could live the rest of your life wondering what if. Because that What if will just destroy you, then it will be too late to do anything.” stormed out slamming the door behind him.
walked into the hotel lobby. There was a lot of fuss going on and it wasn’t for Westlife that was for sure.

He walked over and sure the was standing there with everyone. He remembered that she was leaving today.

As soon as saw him she knew was right she couldn’t live without knowing. “ I just need to say buy to .” walked over to him as fast as she could and pulled him to one side.

“I need to tell you something.” said making sure her voice wasn’t too loud that the press didn’t hear her.

“Ok sure what’s up.” “Well Josh asked me to marry him.” “That’s great” lied he wanted to say no but he kept quite
“Well it depends who your asking. Anyway that’s not the question. Can you think of any reason for me to tell him No. And to keep me here?” search his eyes for any glimmer of hope something just so she could stay.

“I’m sorry I really can’t think of anything. So you’re making the right choice then.” “It looks like I am. Thanks” lent in and kissed on the cheek taking in as much of him as she could.

couldn’t pull his eyes away from and . As walked back he knew that it was too late would Marry Josh and move to LA for good. He wanted to kill tell him to get a clue, Even ask to think about it again but only could do that no one else.

“I can’t believe she’s gone it’s been three weeks and I still miss her.” said into his pint. The lads were back in Ireland. They were on a two-month break, which they all needed. “I’ll be careful mate will wonder what’s going on.” laughed.
“Well at least he says what he feels” said looking right at . knew that he had too much to drink he didn’t care.
“What does that mean?” asked looking to then .
“I mean that some of us will admit what we really feel about . For example we all miss and we think her marrying Josh is a stupid idea. That’s all because someone didn’t tell her how he felt.” stood up knocking his chair back.
“I’ll never forgive you for what you’ve done to .”
At this point was at a total lost wasn’t making any sense.
“I didn’t do anything to . What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about letting leave with Josh. Any man that felt anything for her wouldn’t let her go. She asked you for a reason to stay out off all of us she asked you. What did you do? Tell her to go. That’s a great thing isn’t it get lost I don’t love you.”

your drunk. Come on. Don’t say something you’ll regret” “ loves you. She was only with Josh cause of Simon then she didn’t see another other choice but to stay with him” “Like that do you mean hissed at him.
and pulled out the pub leaving a very confused and upset .

looked at ’s album on the shelf he hadn’t seen her since she had told him that Josh had asked her to marry him. Which was over 3 months ago. She had asked for a reason to stay but didn’t give her one. Then there was the outburst last week from , He had tried to call but he got through but got Josh instead that informed him that was away and he didn’t know when she would be back. Which in fact thought was weird if he was with her he would have known; he would have even properly been with her.

sighed and flicked through the album credits. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to read them. What if she said something about Josh? She must do as they were together but it still would hurt to read it. He took a deep breath and went for it.
As he got near to the end he took a deep breath here it was.

“I want to thank Joshua for his love his understanding. I kind of luv ya for it. stopped reading it but something in his heart told him to carry on.
This brings me to the last two people I want to thank. for reminding me that you really can’t live with what ifs.”

“The most important person is .” At this point his heart had stopped but he made himself carry on.

“I know this may not be the best place to say this. Yet maybe it’s the right place. I don’t know if you will read this. But I feel in my heart you will. I wanted to say. I adore you more than anything. I love you. From the first moment I saw you. So what I’m asking is if you fill the same way you’ll give me a reason to stay. XX XX.

threw the sleeve down and ran out the shop. He pulled out his mobile phone out of his pocket. He had to know where she was. He knew that would be the only person who would.
He called the airport and got himself the first flight to London. Then he called to tell him what he was he doing and thanks for giving something to think about.

The plane couldn’t get to Gatwick any faster than it could for . He rushed through Customers only for him to come face to face with .

“What are you doing here?” asked taking to one side. “Where is she? I read the album sleeve please tell me I have to tell her.” “ are you sure cause she wouldn’t be able to take it if she saw you for you to say you don’t feel the same after everything.”
I’ve been apart from her long enough don’t make me wait any longer.” was almost in tears.

“She’s at m flat. I’ll take you as I’ve finished now.”

Another hour later pulled into her drive. Here is the key. Good luck. gave a hug. Once he was inside she called .

heard the front door open she was in her bedroom unpacking her things. She had only got back to London the night before. This was the first time she had to unpack.

The first thing she has asked was if had called her. She was heartbroken to find out that he hadn’t. Her album had been almost a week now. Surely one of them would have told him. She had to accept the fact that didn’t feel the same about her. But at least she knew so she wouldn’t have any regrets.

hey, you’ll never guess what. Simon’s given me two weeks off before I start back promoting the album again. How do you fancy going away? Where do you want to go?”
“How about somewhere we can be alone” froze she knew that was standing in the doorway she was just afraid that if she turned around he would disappear.
She did anyway. Yes was still there. She could feel the tears in her eyes. She tried her best not to let it go. Just because he was here didn’t’ mean he felt the same.

knew before the tears even feel that was going to cry. He had her in his arms just as the first tear feel onto his shirt.

“It’s ok I’ve got you.” “ I couldn’t go along with it. I could never love Josh.” “It’s ok I’m here now. I’m not going to go anywhere or let you out my site.” He took ’s face in his hands and dried away her tears with his thumbs.

“I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you. I wish I told you sooner. I love you and want you to stay with me. Will you stay in my heart forever?” smiled she had wanted to hear him say that for so long now it was hard to believe it was real.

“Yes I’ll stay in your heart as I know you’ll stay in mine forever.”

pulled close and kissed her passionately. They were finally together. With no more, What ifs.